Little Zimmy and Cris Cristofferson are on first and second, and Adam has a lot to think about as he watches the first pitch go by. He watches the second go by, too, both of them strikes. Who is this bozo on the mound?
Matt Belisle is his name, and next he sends a 95mphrpm BUZZSAW inside. Adam's bat is broken! He fouls the saw blade away, to land safely where it threatens no bystanders. Bat Boy Kevin brings another Thunderhammerbat.
Adam swings and misses with a fresh bat. Looks like tonight bozo is spelled with a K.
Showing posts with label Bat Boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bat Boy. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
51st Plate Appearance
His lust sated, Adam is ready to pursue his other passion: fuckcrushing baseballs.
First pitch is low and outside - major league pitchers are clearly afraid of the Beautiful Blonde Beast - but Adam swings with fervor; strike one. Second pitch (no surprise) a ball well outside. Now comes a breaking ball low, Adam easily checks his swing, but home plate ump Bill Hohm calls it a strike. The big man can't believe it but, being genteel, only grits his teeth and nods.
Next pitch crushed down the first base line but foul. Thunderhammerbat is broken! But bat boy Kevin hauls out a replacement, - heftier than he himself. Adam swinging with wild abandon now, tips a ball foul.
Redemption now falls upon pitcher Cook, as Adam lifts the next ball toward Alpha Centauri. Center fielder Gonazales loses it as it sails above the lights. He waves his arms in despair, "I don't got it!" It falls to dead center field as Adam trots confidently to second base.
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