Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Adam wakes as if from a dream. He is in some strange locker room, lit by strange light, smelling of strange odors. Something scuttles in the corner. Adam grabs Thunderhammerbat to strike it--it is a man. Or, some weasel-like simulacrum of a man. A HOMUNCULUS, it seems. Adam withholds Thunderhammerbat, and watches with wonder as the HOMUNCULUS straps on the catcher's gear.

So, there is baseball in this place?

Adam dutifully dresses in his new uniform, wary for ambush. He follows the men through the clubhouse. Little Zimmy is nowhere to be seen.

Avast! Some man claims Adam's station at first base! Adam will not play defense? What, is he to sit idly between innings, juggling Thunderhammerbat like a toy? Is he to play only half a game of baseball?

Ozymandias crouches in the corner. A towel is draped over his shoulders. He laughs and chews gum at the same time.

What is this wicked, bewildering world?

57th Plate Appearance

Little Zimmy and Cris Cristofferson are on first and second, and Adam has a lot to think about as he watches the first pitch go by. He watches the second go by, too, both of them strikes. Who is this bozo on the mound?

Matt Belisle is his name, and next he sends a 95mphrpm BUZZSAW inside. Adam's bat is broken! He fouls the saw blade away, to land safely where it threatens no bystanders. Bat Boy Kevin brings another Thunderhammerbat.

Adam swings and misses with a fresh bat. Looks like tonight bozo is spelled with a K.

56th Plate Appearance

Little Zimmy's Adam-prenticeship is in full bloom, for the Mighty RyRy has just taken a Dunn count payoff pitch and sent it on a perfect parabola into the Rockies bullpen.

Flushed with pedagogic pride, Adam takes his own mighty rip on the first pitch.

Thunderhammerbat sends it bouncing fast down the first base line, and the ball stuns Todd Helton. He can only barely manage to knock the ball to the ground, paw it with his now-thoroughly-numbed bare hand, and flip it to de La Rosa at the bag.

50th Plate Appearance - The Lovers Reunite

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and 15 consecutive plate appearances without a walk have whetted Adam's lustful appetite for first base. Love is in his eyes as he approaches the plate to face the Rockies' Aaron Cook. Yet, 'Let not my love be called idolatry,' insists Adam, spitting.

First pitch a breaking ball low; Adam watches it scornfully. Second pitch a ball. Adam is breathing hard now; wipes his nose - or was it a tear? The titan shakes off love's opiatic mist, and takes a huge cut at a fastball up. Strike one. Another ball low, and lo!, another! Adam casts Thunderhammerbat to the dugout, and trots to his beloved.

Adam and Todd Helton exchange words.

"Kind is my love to-day, to-morrow kind"

49th Plate Appearance

Since Adam last saw home plate, the Nationals have scratched two more runs out of the Brewers, and Milwaukee has answered with one more. It's 11-7 as Adam gets one more chance to decimate the nine-PA baseless streak he has going in this series vs. the Brewers.

Little Zimmy has grounded out ahead of Adam to leave the bases empty. Adam's first pitch from Carlos Villanueva chips the inside corner for a strike. The second pitch finds its way down in the zone, and--did I just hear a peal of thunder?! Adam lifts a liner to center field.

Adam returns to his favorite base on the diamond, and exchanges a respectful nod with Fielder.

47th Plate Appearance

It's the bottom of the fifth, Doug Davis is still on the mound, and the table is set for our hungry hero.

Little Zimmy has done his job right, slapping a two-RBI single to left to keep the inning outless and runners on first and second for Adam.

Adam watches another one of those slow looping curve balls go down the zone for a strike. The next pitch goes in the dirt, and Dunn hears a mighty growl from Thunderhammerbat. It's time to eat!

Adam's deep swing sends a grounder speeding toward first, so fast that it bounces off of Fielder's bare hand.

Fielder recovers, grabs the ball and reaches the bag mere steps ahead of Adam. Runners advance.

42nd Plate Appearance

Adam lumbers into the batter's box, watches a low fastball called a strike, and then brings out his THUNDERHAMMERBAT to crush a ball into the stratosphere. Some confusion as the outfielders lose sight of the mammoth blast, but Cory Hart makes the catch on the warning track.