65th Plate Appearance

Ubaldo's still in charge, and he has deemed that the Nationals will score no runs today. The man is not known for mercy.

His fellow Ionians, sensing the weakness of grief in Washington's hero, employ the shift.

After a stinky sinky breaking ball, Adam fouls off a fast one, high into the air, toward the third base line seats. Plummeting from a great height, the ball strikes a beautiful woman in the shoulder. She cries out in pain.

Once again, sentiment has been banished. Adam, ensconced in his box, takes no notice.

He fouls off two more, and then Ubaldo feeds some cheese to the inside corner. Adam is returned to the mundane world. He backs out of the box and his great heart breaks.

61st Plate Appearance

Adam leads off in the fifth. Game tied 4-4. Enter big donkey.

The Rockies, flush with hubris, shift seemingly their entire team into right field in an attempt to stop the unstoppable object. He spits, and takes a breaking ball right down the middle. The count evened by a ball down and away. Final leatherball struck high and deep, but caught.